Showing posts with label caregiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label caregiving. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Caregiving The Odyssey of Becoming More Human

Caregiving is one of those relationships and practices of self-cultivation that make us, even as we experience our limits and failures, more human.....

By Bob DeMarco

The following is an excerpt from a well written, thought provoking article by Arthur Kleinman that appears in Harvard Magazine.
But, to use the close experiential language of actually doing it, caregiving is also a defining moral practice. It is a practice of empathic imagination, responsibility, witnessing, and solidarity with those in great need. It is a moral practice that makes caregivers, and at times even the care-receivers, more present and thereby fully human.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Advice and Insight -- Alzheimer's Caregiving

"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest." -- Thomas Moore....
By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room


The Metamorphosis of This Alzheimer's Caregiver
The more I learned the more I wanted to know. I learned a great deal about Alzheimer's disease and dementia--including the science. It helped me understand a very mystifying disease. It helped me to put a frame around something that is difficult if not impossible to describe.


Communication in Alzheimer's World
Let's face it, dealing with dementia is not easy. Understanding Alzheimer's disease is not easy...


Alzheimer's World -- Two Circles Trying to Intersect
When Alzheimer's strikes communication and behavior change abruptly -- overnight. It is up to the caregiver to adjust since the person suffering from dementia is incapable of the adjustment. Understanding this need is the first big step.




The Metamorphosis of This Alzheimer's Caregiver (Part Two)
It is difficult to describe the range of emotions a caregiver might feel or experience in a single day. Imagine being happy and then sad, caring then angry, focused then frustrated -- an almost endless stream of feelings and emotions that conflict.....


The Metamorphosis of This Alzheimer's Caregiver -- I Wish
Once I entered Alzheimer's world I did learn something fascinating -- my mother is full of feelings and emotion. I learned that I could connect with her....

The Alzheimer's Hamster Within YOU
I believe changing behavior, understanding what is happening, and a willingness to change the communication dynamic are the first steps to Alzheimer's caregiver happiness.


How We Beat Alzheimer's Incontinence -- A Solution
We are on a three day roll. No pee pee. No pee pee pajamas. No pee pee underwear. No pee pee pants...

How do Alzheimer's Caregivers Think and Feel?
Which of he following apply to you as an Alzheimer's caregiver? Which of these constantly bother you?.....

Dealing with Difficult Behavior Caused by Dementia and Alzheimer's
I often get asked question about how I deal with my mother when she evidences erratic behavior.


Alzheimer's and the Dreaded Bowel Movement
I knew the solution to the dreaded bowel movement problem for years. I couldn't get my mother to cooperate. When she wouldn't cooperate, I would give up. At least three or four times over a two year period. I was finally able to implement my solution for one simple reason -- I was learning new and better techniques as an Alzheimer's caregiver over time.


Alzheimer's Caregiver Lament -- This is Not the Person I Knew
In order to communicate effectively with a person suffering from Alzheimer's disease you need to come to an understanding that they are now living in a new world -- I often refer to this as Alzheimer's world...

Alzheimer's Caregiver Lament -- I can't take her out because she eats with her hands
The positive effects of socialization, initiative, and motivation on the part of Alzheimer's sufferers and their caregiver should not be overlooked. I believe these are as important as the medication......

I promised not to put my parents in a nursing home
The decision to keep a parent home or place them in a facility is never an easy choice, and is usually contemplated for a long time. The horror stories we’ve all heard about nursing homes can make anyone cringe.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Sometimes while looking at all those stars I begin to look at the space between the stars -- I call this the Blue Nowhere...When I look at the Blue Nowhere, I begin to imagine all the persons suffering from Alzheimer's disease. The Blue Nowhere is very vast.


Alzheimer's Caregiver Love
"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest." -- Thomas Moore.....


Random Thought at the End of 2009
Alzheimer's will try to rob the Alzheimer's caregiver of their spirit. It will try and send them into the black hole of depression. Every day Alzheimer's whispers in the ear of the caregiver -- give up.

Alzheimer's and the Thyroid Revisited
People who are hypothyroid feel as though they have mild Alzheimer's and depression all mixed into one bad day. Get your thyroid tested. Nearly one in five people over the age of sixty has some degree of hypothyroidism, meaning a sluggish thyroid. The sympotms include forgetfulness, weight gain, depression, dry skin, intolerance to cold, muscle aches, and fatigue.

Which Drugs Increase the Risk of Falling for the Elderly
Falls are the leading cause of both fatal and nonfatal injuries for adults sixty-five and older...


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Bob DeMarco is the editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. Bob has written more than 1,300 articles with more than 9,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.
Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Metamorphosis of This Alzheimer's Caregiver

To start, I am a curious person. So, when I want to know more about something I really dig in. Take it apart and put it back together.


By Bob DeMarco

I'm fortunate in two ways. I picked great parents, and God and my parents blessed me with an ability to read fast, and absorb information.

My brain is wired to view everything as a system. This allows me to see all the parts when I encounter something new, or when I am trying to figure things out.

When focused, I am goal oriented.

When I first learned my mother was suffering from dementia, I quickly learned you could put everything I knew about dementia and Alzheimer's in a thimble.

So, I started reading. The more I learned the more I wanted to know. I learned a great deal about Alzheimer's disease--including the science. It helped me understand a very mystifying disease. It helped me to put a frame around something that is difficult if not impossible to describe.

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At the beginning of my travels with Alzheimer's, I had to get over the shock when the diagnosis of dementia came. That took what seemed like a minute, but it was over a year.

Once I could think clearly, I decided I needed a plan. Some of it was easy--exercise, nutrition, and creating a stable environment. Finding a great personal care physician was a bigger challenge. I'm thankful I somehow realized how important this decision would be for us.

Exercise is a critical component of the care-ee, care-er paradigm. I have written often about how my mother is often "dull" and can barely walk as we head to the gym. And how, she undergoes an almost impossible to believe physical, psychological and emotional transition by the time we leave the gym.

I have not spent as much time explaining the importance of exercise for the caregiver. In order to function as an Alzheimer's caregiver you are going to need an enormous amount of energy.

The only way I know to increase the energy level is with vigorous exercise and good nutrition. As a caregiver, you need to understand that more than 40 percent of Alzheimer's caregivers suffer from depression. Exercise is an important component in the battle to keep depression away.

I am asked daily how I care for my mother, and attend to this blog. Well, I have a 17 hour day, no naps. You need lots of energy to keep that kind of schedule. I guess it is not well understood but you get more energy, not tired, when you exercise--hard.

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I continue to learn more and more about Alzheimer's each day. I continued reading and talking to those who came before me. Over time, I realized how difficult it was to find information that really helped me do my day job--living Alzheimer's from the front row.

Frankly, I read thousands of articles and all the books. I did get a good piece of information here, and a good piece of information there. This took years. There really is no one single place to turn to to get the kinds of on the job information you need to get through the day as an Alzheimer's caregiver.

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When I finally learned that I was an Alzheimer's caregiver; I realized I needed to define my role as a caregiver. Thinking of myself as a caregiver made me feel good--it made me feel good about myself. My first blog was called, I am an Alzheimer's caregiver. I used that blog to start getting a handle on the enormous amount of information I was acquiring, and to define myself. I guess you could say from those seeds came the Alzheimer's Reading Room.

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One day, I met two wonderful people--by chance. They listened to me, shaking their heads up and down (saying yes nonverbally). When I was done venting, they told me about their own round trip ride with their mother who suffered from Alzheimer's.

That day I learned one of my important lessons, I was not alone. This realization lifted a thousand pound weight off my back. It allowed me to really start thinking more clearly about developing a plan to take care of my mother.

I already knew from my life prior to caregiving--in order to succeed you need a vision, a mission, and a plan to bring that vision to fruition. I started developing a vision of how I wanted life to be for my mother and me.

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Soon after encountering those two wonderful people that taught me I was not alone, I had a set back that almost sent me into the black hole--depression.

My mother had been buying lottery tickets daily for 20 years. Cash 3, Fantasy Five, Lottery. And, those crazy scratch off tickets. I got what I thought was a great idea. Instead of buying them everyday, why not buy all of them once a week. I started doing that on my own--for my mother.

Then the worst day ever came. I took my mother into the store. I handed her the plastic envelope with all the lottery cards and the money and said--go get the lottery tickets. She had no idea what I was talking about. She said where? I pointed--over there, she didn't move. I took her hand and walked her over to the counter. I said, go ahead. She said, what do I do? She didn't know what to do (this took place four and a half years ago).

At that point, I felt like I was being electrocuted. Later that day I started to feel disoriented. At home, I couldn't shake a feeling of helplessness.

I am a thinker, and was thinking about what I should do. But instead of a plan, I kept thinking we are near the end. She won't know me soon. She is going to be laying in bed, she won't be able to eat. All day and all night this was all I could think about. The stress was enormous.

I did feel like I was going into the black hole of depression. I felt myself fighting.

Then miraculously I learned one of the most important lesson of them all. You Are the One.

We were in the doctors office, the office of our wonderful doctor--Dr. Carlos Chiriboga. I was explaining to him what happened and how I was feeling.

He explained to me that if I didn't let my mother do things, she would forget how to do them. In other words, it was not necessary, nor was it a good idea for me to be doing everything for her.

He then stunned me. He said, You Are the One. You know what she can and cannot do--so if you think she can do it, let her do it. He told me I might get criticism, but not to let it deter me.

I went home and thought about this. Sure enough, the thousand pound weight was off my back (again). Once again, I felt empowered.

My new mantra became--I am an Alzheimer's caregiver, I Am not Alone, and I Am the ONE. I recite this mantra when I wake up in the morning, and before I go to bed. I look at myself in the mirror while doing this. I always smile.

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As time went on, I started to get a new vision. Soon, I started doing lots of things that were out of the box. Amazingly, just about everyone of them worked.

Imagine my 88 year old mother no longer going to the Silver Sneakers class, but working out with me in the gym. I can't tell you how many people--all women--that yelled at me, and told me to get my mother off the treadmill and on to a bike. Great in theory, and I had tried it. She would peddle for 15 seconds and then stop.

I learned to hold my hand up, palm out, when these people came at me, and not say a single word. I just looked them right in the eye. Until they walked away. I thought about what Dr. Chiriboga has told me--don't let anyone deter you.

I'm the one, and I knew my mother could walk on the treadmill even tough at times it looked like she was going to keel over. Then she would stand up straight and start walking. You might not believe this but around the six minute, 30 second mark every time she would start bending over like she was going to fall. At the 7 minute mark she would stand straight up and start walking. It happened every time for years. I guess it looks kind of ugly. To me it is all part of a pattern.

If you thought that was crazy then imagine the look on the faces of the people in the gym when I started putting my mother on the weight machines. Amazingly, my mother hates the treadmill, she loves the weight machines. She cannot wait to do the shoulder pulls, chest pulls, etc. She doesn't really like the leg machine.

By the way, after a while, one by one people started coming up to me in the gym and praising me. They usually say--you are a good son. Sometimes they want to talk to me. People that see us all the time, smile and talk to my mother. It all came together very nicely.

I still get the occasional person that wants to rain on our parade.

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I didn't realize it at the time but I was undergoing a real metamorphosis as a caregiver. In the beginning, the first stage, I was just trying to accept Alzheimer's. Get out of denial and get on with the important parts of caregiving.

Then one day--a couple of years in--I came to a realization--it was time to say NO to Alzheimer's. I decided to fight.

I decided I would not accept the crazy behavior, the incontinence, and I would not continue to live in a shell. Instead, I would find ways to change things.

First, we would go out in the world and resume living our life the way we had before the diagnosis. Second, I would find a new way to communicate with my mother. Third, I would identify each problem that comes with the disease and tackle it head on.

Change, not acceptance.

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One of the most important observations I made was that my mother had very well defined patterns of behavior.
  • How she walked on the treadmill,
  • How she spit venom at me with her words,
  • How she woke up at 1:25 AM, 4:30 AM,
  • How she wanted to start cleaning the house at 9:37 PM,
  • How when she would get mad at me, go into her room, then would come out of her room at 7:09 PM,
  • How Monday and Tuesday's were good days,
  • Wednesday the downtrend started into Thursday,
  • How she would go in here room and curl up into a ball on Thursday and not come out until Friday.

I started to wonder if I could change these patterns, and change them into positive patterns. I'll answer that question right here--Yes you can. I'll be writing about how I did it soon.

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I am an Alzheimers caregiver, I am the One, and if you are here you are not Alone.

My name is Bob DeMarco, I am an Alzheimer's caregiver. My mother Dorothy, now 93 years old, suffers from Alzheimer's disease. We live our lives one day at a time.

Popular articles on the Alzheimer's Reading Room

The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People with Alzheimer Disease, Dementia, and Memory Loss

Bob DeMarco is the editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The Alzheimer's Reading Room is the number one website on the Internet for news, advice, and insight into Alzheimer's disease. Bob has written more than 800 articles with more than 18,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.
Original content Bob DeMarco, Alzheimer's Reading Room

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Validation Breakthrough: Simple Techniques for Communicating with People with Alzheimer's and Dementia

If you live with or care for someone with Alzheimer's or dementia, you should consider reading this book. The Validation Breakthrough will help you understand why Alzheimer's sufferers say what they say and do what they do. This book helps you understand communication that is often difficult to accept and hard to interpret.

You might get the impression from the title that this book is only for professionals -- this is not the case. The validation theory works and it is simple to apply.

The case studies are invaluable and provide you with specific situations that you are sure to encounter.

I am convinced everyone involved with elderly parents suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's will benefit from reading this book.

You will certainly reduce stress by learning these techniques.


The Validation Breakthrough: Simple Techniques for Communicating with People with Alzheimer's Type Dementia

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Reviews

By Martine Davis

If you live with or care for someone with Alzheimer's or other age related dementia, you must read this book ! What an eye-opener! For the first time I finally understood why Alzheimer's patient say what they say and do what they do. It all makes so much sense now. This small book reads quickly and is full of examples of real people who have been helped with the author's techniques. It shows you how to handle the blaming, accusing, name-calling and the repetitive motions ... It also explains why the way most of us react to Alzheimer's patients actions actually worsens the situation and can cause them to progress to a more advanced stage of Alzheimer's disease ! This book could extend the relationship between the patient and caregivers and should be MANDATORY reading for all staff working in nursing homes and long-term care facilities !

By J. Summers, CNA (Alaska)

An excellent book for both the professional caregiver and families trying to deal with this sometimes unfathomable disease. Gives practical ideas and techniques for helping people with dementia deal with issues from paranoia and blaming to sadness and helplessness. I have just begun to explore these techniques and am finding they work so well that they should be mandatory training for nurses, PCAs and CNAs. Instead of treating our seniors like they are children we at last have a way to talk to them on an adult level, tap into where they are at, deal with the problem at hand and we all come out better for the experience.


Reviewer: A reader

More and more relevant as we care for aging parents. With a title like this one might think: "Boring" Absolutely not so! Right from the start, the stories of the people are so real and so touching that one of my friends said she was moved to tears. She was so sad not to have known about this way of relating to her father. "It works," she told me. "Validation Breakthrough" shows a new way of relating to people with dementia of Alzheimer's type. This approach is effective in helping the person to clear up unresolved issues in their lives. You do not have to be a professionally trained therapist to use validation. Validation will make the relationship more rewarding for both people. It is not hard to learn and makes wonderful sense. Some readers may want to ask new questions of care facilities (like nursing homes) as the validation approach will keep loved ones from slipping into a vegetative state. It will also make the care much kinder, and more rewarding for the care givers


Popular articles on the Alzheimer's Reading Room

Bob DeMarco is the editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The Alzheimer's Reading Room is the number one website on the Internet for news, advice, and insight into Alzheimer's disease. Bob has written more than 950 articles with more than 8,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, Alzheimer's Reading Room

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Alzheimer's: A Wonderful Moment in Time--Mom Dances

Wonderful people.

I have a vivid image of the look on mom's face and of us dancing. I will have that image in my mind forever. This is the kind of moment that really knocks home to me why I am here with mom. Moments like this help keep me energized and focused.

My name is Bob DeMarco, I am an Alzheimer's caregiver. My mother, Dorothy, now 93 years old, suffers from Alzheimer's disease.

One of the biggest problems I face as a caregiver is keeping my mother socialized. If it was up to her she would sit around all day in the dark, rarely speaking. If you have experienced this as a caregiver, you know how really disconcerting this can be.
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About three years ago, I decided to take my mother out to the Banana Boat in Boynton Beach. The Banana Boat is an outdoor restaurant on the Intercoastal Waterway in south Florida. The "Boat" has an outdoor restaurant and an outdoor bar where you can eat and listen to live music. Since my mother rarely speaks when we go out to dinner, I decided we would sit at the bar and eat. I was hoping mom would benefit from being around people; and that, she would benefit from seeing people interact with each other. I chose an this outdoor venue because it has lots of bright light; and, bright light has a very positive effect on my mother's attitude and behavior.

When it came time to eat, my mother ordered chicken wings and french fries--this has always been one of her favorites. I felt a bit of joy when the food came and my mother's eyes almost popped out of her head when she saw--a big basket of french fries. She was delighted. Somehow these moments are becoming more and more important to me.

We had a very good time that night and I decided to do it the next Friday night. Pretty soon we were doing it most Friday nights.

After a few weeks, women started to come over and talk to us. The attraction was an older man with his elderly mother. They wanted to tell us how nice it was to see us. Keep in mind my mother is 92 years old. When they learned my mother was suffering from Alzheimer's disease they became sad. Fortunately, it didn't deter them from coming up and talking to my mother. I am grateful for this.

Soon both women and men were coming over to talk. This was working out better than I had ever imagined.

This new activity at the Banana Boat included: exercise, bright light, and lots of social interaction for both mom and me. I am always trying to find ways to keep "us" socialized. If you are an Alzheimer's caregiver you understand the importance of getting out and around. It is a good mental health break for both the person suffering from Alzheimer's and their caregiver.

The Banana Boat is the kind of place that attracts many of the same people week-in-week-out. Since we go around 6:30 we catch the happy hour crowd many of whom stay until 8.

After a while, a small group of people started saving a chair for my mother--they were expecting us. The first time we missed a Friday, one woman asked for our phone number and told me they were worried about "mom" when we didn't show up. Now we call to let them know when we can't make it on a Friday night.

As time went on, our little group of friends started to get bigger and this turned out to be a "God send". Each week, one by one these wonderful people come up and start talking to my mother. She really enjoys this and her attitude perks up right away. They treat her just like everyone else and talk to her like she is one of the gang. This year a group got together and took my mother to the casino to play slot machines on her birthday. I cannot put into words how much this meant to mom and me.

My mother loved to dance. So, each and every week I asked her if she wanted to dance. Our new friends would also ask mom to dance--men and women alike. I could tell mom wanted to dance but she always said--no. Mom is no longer confident around crowds or people she doesn't know. While her instincts tell her she wants to dance her brain is sending a very different message. I can tell you mom was never shy about dancing and she is a good dancer.

I repeatedly asked mom if she wanted to dance. She repeatedly said, no. One night when we were getting ready to leave, and as mom stood up, I started dancing with her right on the spot. She was shaking it a little bit and had a big smile on her face. By the time we were done, people had tears in their eyes. and smiles as big as big could be. Wonderful people.
I have a vivid image of the look on mom's face as we danced. I will have that image in my mind forever. This is the kind of moment that really knocks home to me why I am here with mom. Situations like this really help remind me how wonderful things can be; and, when the caregiving gets difficult I remind myself of moments like this.
I can assure you it was really a wonderful moment in time.

Bob and Dorothy live in Delray Beach, Florida.


Bob DeMarco is an Alzheimer's caregiver and editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room. The Alzheimer's Reading Room is the number one website on the Internet for advice and insight into Alzheimer's disease. Bob taught at the University of Georgia, was an executive at Bear Stearns, the CEO of IP Group, and is a mentor. He has written more than 700 articles with more than 18,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.

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Sunday, August 2, 2009

(R)evolution in Alzheimer's Related Caregiving

One of my greatest fears is the day I might have to place my mother in an Alzheimer's care facility. I say might because I pray that I'll never have to do it.

I receive emails all the time from people that experience the guilt, angst, and remorse of having place their loved one in a Alzheimer's care facility that provides little care, and is a horrid environment for their loved one.

Our reader Rose LaMatt, wrote of her own nightmare experience after she placed her loved one into an Alzheimer's care facility. In Just a Word, she writes with real, raw, emotion about the myriad of feelings she experienced when moving her loved one from the first Alzheimer's care facility to a second. Reading her words were eye opening, and gut wrenching.

Sadly, its ugly out there.

It doesn't have to be that way...........

To continue reading go here.
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Bob DeMarco is an Alzheimer's caregiver and editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room. The Alzheimer's Reading Room is the number one website on the Internet for advice and insight into Alzheimer's disease. Bob taught at the University of Georgia, was an executive at Bear Stearns, the CEO of IP Group, and is a mentor. He has written more than 700 articles with more than 18,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Walmart and this Alzheimer's Caregiver

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My name is Bob DeMarco, I am an Alzheimer's caregiver. My mother Dorothy, now 93 years old, suffers from Alzheimer's disease.

I learned in my role as an Alzheimer's caregiver that exercise, bright light, socialization, and simple tasks that allow my mother to use her brain have a positive effect on my mother's quality of life and behavior.

I am always searching for new ways to keep her active and in the world.

About a year ago, I came up with a new idea and decided to give it a try.

I took my mother to Super Walmart for an outing. If you have a super Walmart near you, you already know the parking lot is usually jammed.

When we arrive at Walmart, I look around for a parking space. We do not use the handicapped spot. Reason? Exercise (mission accomplished).

We park, and I walk my mother up to the entrance to the store. Next, I get her into one of those electric shopping carts that allow you to drive around the store. This forces my mother to use her brain (mission accomplished).

When I take her into Walmart we drive around through all the departments. This allows my mother to use her brain for an extended period of time, and to be exposed to the bright lighting (mission accomplished).

My mother usually gets nervous when she is around large groups of people. The experience in Walmart exposes her to lots of people, and sometimes when she is stopped people actually say 'hi' or start talking to her (mission accomplished).

The trip to Walmart satisfies a need to keep her in and attached to the outside world. (mission accomplished).

If I let my mother sit around (actually lay around at home), she often falls into a dark mood. Sometimes she will just stop talking, or worse utter words like " I would be better off dead", or, "I am living on overtime".

I noticed years ago, when I take her out into the world her behavior improves, she starts smiling, and often starts interacting with others (this really makes me feel good--mission accomplished).

To be honest, we both benefit from the trip to Walmart.

My mother gets out, gets some exercise, gets exposed to bright light: while riding in the car, walking up to the store, and in the store. She gets to see people and do one one of her favorite things--shop. She likes the cloths section almost as much as she likes grabbing a box of Cheez-it off the shelf.

For me? I get out in the world and stay attached to other human beings. This beats staying at home day after day--all alone.

The trip to Walmart is like a respite to me. Even though I am a man, I can now tell you the price of everything we buy. I can tell you we save lots of bucks while shopping in Walmart--another benefit.

We now go to super Walmart weekly.

My advice to you? Get out in the real world and smell the Cheez-it(s).

Bob DeMarco is an Alzheimer's caregiver and editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room. The Alzheimer's Reading Room is the number one website on the Internet for advice and insight into Alzheimer's disease. Bob taught at the University of Georgia, was an executive at Bear Stearns, the CEO of IP Group, and is a mentor. He has written more than 700 articles with more than 18,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Alzheimer's Action Plan

“Most of us will either get Alzheimer’s or care for a loved one who has"

"This book is the most comprehensive and up-to-date guide for the diagnosis and management of Alzheimer's disease. Whether you are a health care professional or have Alzheimer's in your family or are simply interested to living to an old age, this book is a must read."
--Deepak Chopra, M.D., New York Times bestselling author of Perfect Health: The Complete Mind/Body Guide


Insight and Advice about Alzheimer's Disease
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"Memory does matter. Adults across the life cycle are asking questions, many questions! The authors answer these questions for the educated public, family members who encounter memory loss in a loved one, and even adults who believe they are experiencing early memory loss. The answers are comprehensive and understandable, no small accomplishment given the plethora of new information available—information that at times is not only confusing but also conflicting."
--Dan G. Blazer, M.D., Ph.D., former Dean of Medical Education, Duke University School of Medicine; past President of the American Geriatrics Society
"Dr. Doraiswamy has done a masterful job of communicating what the layman should know on the treatment, the care giving and, most important, the prevention of Alzheimer's. It was gratifying to learn about the mountain of evidence that what is good for your heart is also good for your brain."
--Arthur Agatston, M.D., cardiologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author of The South Beach Diet
"I love this book! A powerful and vital resource for people who need it the most. Dr. Doraiswamy is that unique blend of medical expertise mixed in with warmth and compassion topped off with humility that makes him rare and wonderful."
--Leeza Gibbons, Emmy award-winning TV host and founder of Leeza's Place and the Memory Foundation
"Lisa Gwyther is a national treasure. She has been a pioneer in providing innovative care and education for Alzheimer’s patients and their families for many years. Lisa’s long experience helping families cope with the challenges of memory loss and Alzheimer’s disease makes her uniquely qualified to co-author this book. Families experiencing the new world of memory loss and Alzheimer’s couldn’t ask for a better companion for the journey. Her warmth, compassion, and wisdom shine through, and will help light the way."
--Pat Lynch, Director of Communications, Alzheimer’s Center Program, National Institute on Aging
"Most of us will either get Alzheimer's or care for a loved one who has. This action plan can empower you to make a difference."
--Mehmet C. Oz, M.D., co-author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, You: The Owner’s Manual
"Five million Americans have Alzheimer disease, and an even larger number with mild to moderate memory loss are at high risk of developing this illness. Murali Doraiswamy, a leading clinical researcher in Alzheimer disease, and Lisa Gwyther, a founder of the Alzheimer Association, have co-authored this timely, state-of-the-art book directed at patients with Alzheimer disease, their informants, and their primary care physicians....I fully predict that this exceptionally well-written, reader-friendly book will become the standard resource for patients with Alzheimer disease and their loved ones. Its up-to-date information, patient-centered approach, and focus on prevention and treatment directed at patients with incipient Alzheimer disease distinguish it from The 36 Hour Day by Nancy Mace and Peter Rabins, which is directed at caregivers of patients with moderate to severe Alzheimer disease."
--JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association)

Bob DeMarco is an Alzheimer's caregiver and editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room. The Alzheimer's Reading Room is the number one website on the Internet for advice and insight into Alzheimer's disease. Bob taught at the University of Georgia, was an executive at Bear Stearns, the CEO of IP Group, and is a mentor. He has written more than 700 articles with more than 18,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.

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Sunday, June 7, 2009

I'm Hungry, I'm Starving

My mother utters those words at least 20 times each day.

This morning right after she finished eating her oatmeal, and with the bowl still in front of her, my mother said, "I'm hungry, I'm starving".

Back during that difficult, very trying, first year, my mother would eat constantly. It was driving me crazy.

It honestly made me feel crazy and disconcerted.

Then one lucky day in the gym, I mentioned to two complete strangers how this was making me nuts. They had already gone the full round trip with Alzheimer's.

As I vented, they stood there listening, smile on their faces, head nodding up and down yes, and listened to me vent.

When I finished, they told me about their very similar experience(s). They gave me a great deal of encouragement. Even though I never saw them again, I think of them often.

They changed my life.

It was later that day that the little light bulb in my head went on.

I realized -- I am not alone. There are millions of people, just like me, going through the same experiences, day in, day out. Millions all over the world.

I thought about the smiles on the faces of the two people I met in the gym. The encouragement and positive feedback they offered. Their kindness.

I decided, right then and right there, to learn as much as I could about Alzheimer's.

I decided that I would do everything possible to get control of the crazy situation I found myself living, day in, day out.

I decided that sooner or later, I would become a happy caregiver.

I made it.

The Alzheimer's Reading Room is all about changing the lives of Alzheimer's caregivers. For the better.

At the end of the day, I want each and every person that comes here to know -- they are not alone.

I want them to know that Alzheimer's is a sinister disease that will try to ruin their life. But, it doesn't have to be that way.

I want them to know, if it is up to me, that is not going to happen.

The collective brain of the Alzheimer's Reading Room is growing each and every day.

Each person that makes a comment, shares their words of wisdom, or offers advice on this website lets another Alzheimer's caregiver know -- they are not alone.

One by one, we help each other turn on the little light bulb in our head.

I'm happy to be a part of it.

Gotta go, "I'm hungry, I'm starving".

Original content the Alzheimer's Reading Room
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Bob DeMarco is an Alzheimer's caregiver and editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room. The Alzheimer's Reading Room is the number one website on the Internet for insight into Alzheimer's disease. Bob taught at the University of Georgia, was an executive at Bear Stearns, the CEO of IP Group, and is a mentor. He has written more than 600 articles with more than 11,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.


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