How to Speak to a Family Who is in Denial about Mom's Dementia

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How to Speak to a Family Who is in Denial about Mom's Dementia

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It’s human to deny what we find unpleasant or frightening. But when it prevents us from seeing facts and facing their implication then it will not help our loved one or ourselves.

Denial is Dangerous

Bob DeMarco  is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room (ARR). Bob is a recognized expert, writer, speaker, and influencer in the Alzheimer's and Dementia Community worldwide.

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Stategies to Get People with Dementia to Take a Bath

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Stategies to Get People with Dementia to Take a Bath

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5 Tips, How to get an Alzheimer's Patient to Shower

One of the earliest problems I faced with my mother, Dotty, was getting her to take a shower.

In the beginning, I would typically make a common Alzheimer's caregiver mistake - I would try to convince her to take the shower.

This usually resulted in me trying to convince her that she needed a shower, the importance of the shower for good health (hygiene), or trying to convince her she would "stink" if she didn't take a shower.

No matter what explanation or cajoling I tried it didn't work. Dotty would usually get angry, and use one of her favorite words - bulls***.

I can laugh about it now. But, I can also assure you that it didn't seem funny at the time.

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How to Get a Person Living with Dementia to Cooperate - Caregiver Tips

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Dementia and False Accusations

It is not unusual for Alzheimer's and dementia patients to make false accusations.

The natural tendency for most Alzheimer's caregivers is to try and explain, and sometimes in a heated fashion, that we did not do what we are being accused of by a dementia patient.

For more information on this topic see.

Dementia, Accusations, and Fractured Fairy Tales

How to Get a Person Living with Dementia to Cooperate - Caregiver Tips

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Excerpt - Spouses of Dementia Patients Pay a Heavy Toll

Alzheimer's Front Row

A study of spouses of dementia patients at Case Western Reserve University found that:

• Some caregivers may have feelings of guilt about participating in activities with friends or in the community when their loved ones are no longer able to do so
• Caregivers report feelings of sadness and loneliness
• 25 percent of caregivers in the study suffered from depression
• and, only 23 percent of those questioned did not feel burdened by the responsibilities of caring for their spouses.

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Spouses of Dementia Patients Pay a Heavy Toll

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Answers to Your Questions About Alzheimer's and Dementia

Dehumanizing Dementia

To learn more about Alzheimers and Dementia care visit the Alzheimer's Reading Room Knowledge Base

Bing - how to remind dementia patients to bathe

Many Alzheimer's caregivers face this common problem, how do you get a recalcitrant dementia patient to bathe or shower?

Dementia Patients in the Emergency Room - Think UTI First

This hair raising emergency room story had a happy ending. It does not always end that way. In fact, more often than not it doesn't.

By Carole Larkin
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Carole Larkin

Yesterday in the late afternoon I received a phone call from a professional caregiver I had placed in one of my client’s houses a long time ago. I consider this lady to be one of the most extraordinary caregivers I have ever seen, anytime anywhere.

She is taking care of a client that I consider to be one of the most extraordinary clients I have ever had (and NOT in a good way).

Anyways, the caregiver called and said that the client had woken from a nap and was talking and acting different than she ever had before.

She said that the client was hallucinating and that her sentences contained words in the wrong place in the sentence and even had some non-words in the sentences. I had her put my client on the phone and I talked with my client for a few minutes. It was true.

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